Find Your Why
Before you commit to that thing you want to do, you know- the thing that you always seem to make an excuse for which prevents you from executing it, determine your why.
What does that even mean?
Ask yourself why on earth you want to do this? Why is it so important? What will you gain? What will happen if you don’t follow through and continue to make excuses and fail to get back on track?
Your why has to be so compelling that when human nature tells you that you are too tired, too hungry, too fat/skinny, too poor, don’t have the time, not smart enough/too hard, or that you might fail at it- you get back on the horse and keep trotting.
The why must be more compelling than the reasons you make an excuse.
The drive and compulsion will hopefully prevent you from deviating too far from your goal or plan AND if you do happen to deviate you can get yourself back on track relatively easy.
|Plan/Goal||Reason for change (this is usually very vague)||The Why||Plan to make it happen (make this as specific as possible)|
|Lose Weight||To fit my bikini. (lol) To fit my clothes better.||To improve my cardiovascular health.|
To decrease my chances of developing Type 2 diabetes.
To improve my overall look.
Eat foods in moderation. Reasonable and consistent exercise.
|Get Promoted at Job||To make more money.||To provide for my family.|
To support my children through college.
To travel the world.
|Take courses to enhance skills.|
|Learn a trade/go to college||To make a living.||To supplement my existing income.|
To provide for my family.
To improve my existing lifestyle.
To travel the world.
|Enroll in trade school or college program.|
Consider internships/apprenticeships. Practice skills.
|Start a business||To follow a passion. |
To find meaning and purpose.
To be innovative.
|To invest in yourself long term. |
To develop financial independence.
To create an asset and a legacy.
|Develop a business plan. Learn about SEO. |
Learn about the industry.
Stop Worrying About What Others Have to Say
You’ve heard it before. Opinions are like buttholes…everybody’s got one. Well it’s completely true. Everyone has an opinion one way or another and you will not agree with everyone’s opinion, perspective or point of view. That is OK! While you are working on your goal, you cannot be sidetracked by what others will say. Sometimes this may include family and friends.😢
There are times when it seems like everyone has something to say about the decision you have made. If you listen to too many voices, you may become secretly discouraged. Allow the comments and opinions to be just that- a comment or opinion.
One of the biggest issues out there that people give excuses for is weight loss /health improvement. I’ve been guilty of this one for sure!! I know many individuals may feel very uncomfortable walking into a gym and working out because they are worried about what people are going to say. They may even feel uncomfortable taking a walk around the block or going to the park to do some exercise. That is a horrible feeling to be uncomfortable in your own skin. The worry for some people can become so intense they just give up, despite knowing that exercise is what is best for them. You can not live life productively always being super concerned about what someone will say. Worrying about what people will say about your size (large or small). Worrying about how you look in your athletic gear or clothes. Not being confident in your knowledge about the exercise routine, how to use the weights, or being able to keep up in group fitness. You would miss out while others are out living their best life.
Here is my genuine gift to you from my heart and I hope it sticks with you.
NO ONE IS BORN KNOWING ANYTHING.
We all have to learn whatever it is that we do. If we do it well, it’s because we have made lots of mistakes and have had lots of practice. That being said everyone has a beginning. Including the buff fitness chick or hercules stud watching their bicep curls in the mirror. The fitness instructor had a first day. The trainer had a first day and we all start out at different levels. Just to be clear I am not hating on anyone. I am just acknowledging that we all start at the beginning.
On a side note, you can believe that there are individuals in the gym, park, wherever, who are secretly in awe of you. In awe of your dedication, strength, and courage. Silently cheering you on. That I have no doubts about.
This does not just apply to fitness and physique. In just about any area of your life, you can bet someone has an opinion about it and what they think you should do. Live for you. Make your own decisions. It is ok to take advice from trusted advisors or trusted sources, but the final decision must always be made by you, for you and in your best interest.
You cannot pay your bills with an opinion. So, do what you have to do! No matter what. Will there be naysayers? Oh yes. You can count on it. You can also count on the fact that there will be people who want to encourage you and will be inspired by you. There may be times you will have to walk alone (or at least it seems), stand tall and don’t worry about what they have to say. Keep your eyes on the prize and don’t let go.
Appreciate Your Accomplishments and Acknowledge How Far You’ve Come
Sometimes human nature will put doubt in your mind. It may be a negative self-talk you’ve picked up from someone along the way in your life. It may have been something said to you as a child or young adult when you were very impressionable and it never left you. It may be a general pessimistic attitude. It does not have to end there however.
Be proud of whatever accomplishments you have made and strive to keep on that path. Keep a record of your successes- not only your failures. Write it in a journal or planner. Look at the milestones you have achieved. It matters!!
Every step forward can be viewed as a step in the right direction. The step can go two ways- a direct path to lead you one step closer to your goal or plan. Or, alternatively, it can be a step that temporarily takes you off course, teaches you a valuable lesson and then you get back on the road to success. It’s your choice in how you choose to view it. There is no real wasted time, only lessons learned. It is about perspective.
Find a System of Accountability
This may be a support group. A trusted friend or family member. It may be even an official personal accountability system. The idea is to have someone who can act as an accountability partner or success partner. Hear me out because there is a difference. We all have experience with being held accountable. Our bosses hold us accountable at work. Customers hold businesses accountable for their products.
Accountability partners generally hold your feet to the fire and act as a person you agree to answer to for your decisions and actions. It is not uncommon to discuss your goals and plans with this partner. However, you must be a-ok and willing to accept and listen when they not only applaud your accomplishments and encourage you, but also call you out on your crap and excuses. Whew- that can be heavy stuff, but it’s so beneficial. The accountability partner usually has the same or similar goals and plans which allows you to be accountable to each other.
Success partners on the other hand do everything an accountability partner does plus more. The main difference is a success partner is able to generally launch themselves for success and does not need you to encourage them in exchange for their assistance. These partners are almost like life coaches and may not have a reciprocal personal vested interest in the process. They are there to strictly guide you and help you achieve your goal.
Let’s say you want to start running, start a fitness routine or program. Working out with a friend can help you stay accountable. Although I know it is good for me, I loathe exercising sometimes. Yes, I said it. I know it is good for me. My why is solid- I need to prevent the development of type 2 diabetes and get my weight under control. Yet, as a human being I can come up with excuses -temporarily. Having an accountability partner helps so much. Personally, I have accountability partners when it comes to fitness (I have two – I’m so fortunate) and I look forward to meeting them and exercising with them. They are individuals who can not only relate to what I am experiencing but also offer encouragement. I in turn do the same for them. It is definitely a win-win situation.
Support groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous and Weight Watchers offer similar support. The support system is on a larger scale with many resources. These are opportunities that are well worth it and will teach valuable skills for not only achieving your goals but more importantly maintaining your success.
The Bottom Line
Don’t be afraid to make a mistake or the wrong choice. You are human and it happens. Adjust your course and keep moving. Realize there will be many days you are full of fear. Allow that fear to motivate you, not paralyze you. Good things take time and consistency is key. The only person you should be competing against is your former self – always making progress and getting better.
You can do whatever you put your mind to and have a plan for. Stop making excuses and start today to get it done.😉
Until next time…