Feminine Fridays, Mindset

Three Ways to Improve Your Feminine Confidence

Confidence.  It is the beginning of so many wonderful opportunities.  It is something we all can develop within different areas of our lives.  Femininity is no different.  Femininity is a part of you- right now.  Whatever you want, you can attain.  It all starts with the right mindset, and when you couple with confidence you will be well on your way.

Femininity has so many variations.  To begin, you’ve got to ask yourself, what does femininity even mean to you?  There is no one-size-fits-all femininity.  There is absolutely no such thing.  Please don’t believe you can only be feminine if you follow a certain set of guidelines. 

Now, in the same breath I will say there are some universal basics such as keeping yourself clean and general body maintenance- that all feminine women share in varying degrees.  Although we are all born with our female traits, our femininity expressions are all at different levels and styles.  Not everyone will view femininity the same, and that’s beautiful.  Seriously, think about that.  You don’t want to be a carbon copy of someone else, you just want to be the best you.  You will never be truly comfortable trying to be someone you are not.  You will feel like a fraud and always be worried about being exposed. 

So, before we begin, I asked you to ask yourself what are you looking to change or improve🤔?  This is because you need to find your why.  That is so important!  What do you think will result from the change?  When you have your answer, you must remember that ultimately it is a personal decision.  Most importantly, you must make any change for you and only you.  Not for your husband, boyfriend, lover, etc.  Your feminine journey is for you and when you surrender to it, others will benefit from your choice of lifestyle.  Femininity (just like sexiness) is a mindset which stems from confidence and whatever work required to maintain your goal. 

OK, let’s begin.

Start Small

Doing a whole-body makeover at once can not only be overwhelming for many, it can also discourage.  Determine where you are in your femininity journey and what it means to be feminine to you.  After you’ve determined it, pick 2-3 things you can work on right now -comfortably.  Let’s say you want to start enhancing your beauty by wearing makeup and it’s something you never do.  You can start out small with some face powder, doing your eyebrows, and wearing some mascara until it is comfortable for you. Once you have the hang of applying those things you may want to add on lipstick, lip liner, eyeshadow, eyeliner, blush- you get the idea.  It will seem overwhelming to do full face makeup if you aren’t used to it, but it is something you can build up to or build up to some variation that you are comfortable with. 

Another example is your wardrobe.  Perhaps you want to update your look.  This may or may not be financially feasible to do all at once.  You can always begin substituting items in or out of your current wardrobe to bring you closer to the feminine look you are striving for.  In all fairness, sometimes, a small tweak, adding an accessory or trying a different combination works wonders.  Pinterest is a great place to start for wardrobe inspiration.  Create a board (You can even make your board private while you are working on your glow up), and start pinning looks you like.  Eventually, you will find pins that relate to the look you are interested in and other useful information. 

Similarly, let’s say you are looking to have a more feminine presence.  Again, start small by maybe smiling more in public, gracefully accepting compliments (gracefully meaning simply saying thank you instead of rejecting the compliment outright or trying to justify it), or even having a more modest vocabulary (meaning sans foul language- especially in polite company).  The idea here is to start off small and build. 

Don’t Compare Yourself to Anyone

There is only one you.  Your responsibility is to just be your best self by YOUR standards.  That being said- no, you cannot be a bum.  You can’t let yourself go.  You should put effort into your livelihood, appearance, and life.  Find feminine styles you’d like to emulate.  Think outside of what is considered “traditional feminine icons” and learn from a wide variety of women.  Icons such as Grace Kelly, Sophia Loren, Audrey Hepburn and Jayne Mansfield have their place.  Their beauty, confidence and elegance cannot be denied.  However, your views should not stop there.  I personally am really inspired by classic beauties such as Diahann Carroll, Beverly Johnson, Iman and Dorothy Dandridge.  Obviously, they are beautiful women, but I LOVE the elegance and class they exuded.  If you aren’t familiar with Diahann Carroll she was an actress, singer, model and activist from my hometown of The Bronx, New York.  Dorothy Dandridge was a film and theatre actress, singer and dancer.  Beverly Johnson and Iman are both models, actresses and businesswomen. Now these beauties Diahann, Dorothy, Grace, Beverly, Iman, Sophia, Audrey, and Jayne all are from different time periods.  HOWEVER, there is something to be learned from them that is timeless- ELEGANCE, FEMININITY, and CLASS.  I don’t compare myself to these ladies – I simply pull pieces I admire from each of them and incorporate it into my own style. 

Appreciate and Acknowledge Your Accomplishments and Successes

As you go through your feminine journey you will discover that it is just that – a journey.   It will evolve with you.  The only thing that is constant is maintenance.  Whatever path of femininity you take you will have to maintain at least the basics of your feminine style – this includes cleanliness and presence of your body, mind and home.

Here are some tips:

1.  Acknowledge the work you are putting in.  Be proud of the changes and improvements no matter how small. 

2.  Don’t tell everyone about the journey you are embarking on to improve your femininity.  Move in silence. Allow your actions and presence to speak for you.  People will take notice whether they mention it to you or not. 

3.  When you are complimented please accept the compliment with grace and a big thank you.  That’s it.  Don’t start explaining anything, don’t divert the compliment, just accept it, smile and gracefully move on. 

This is a safe space so feel free to leave comments below.  I’m here to encourage you and help anyway I can.  You can email me with your questions as well.  Don’t forget to follow me on Instagram.😉

Until next time…love yourself unapologetically!

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2 thoughts on “Three Ways to Improve Your Feminine Confidence”

    1. That’s great Steph. I’m working on acknowledging the small accomplishments😌 It’s so easy for me to get overwhelmed. I have to remind myself of the journey, not the race.

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